2024/25 Predictions: Jonny

Best signing

Tough to say given all Evatt has done this window is either lightly tease us with the tip of his magic transfer stick (“It’s all for you”) or just downright whinge at the lack of success we’ve had in the market thus far.

So, with that in mind I’ll go for our tricky wing-back Szabolcs Schön. Honourable mention to one George Johnston, who will feel like a new signing and give us the much needed balance our back three is craving.

Top scorer

Every fibre of my being wants to say Victor Adeboyejo here, just to wind Chris Manning up. However, I think the honest answer is Aaron Collins. This is his season.

Game I’m most looking forward to

Wrexham at home for the exact same reason as my esteemed colleague, Down The Manny Road Tom. Phil Parkinson is my favourite Bolton manager after Allardyce - he’s done a fantastic job at Deadpool FC and deserves a very warm welcome upon his return.

Aside from that, the fixtures against Birmingham and Huddersfield should be very tasty if all goes according to plan for us. I think we’ll all be right up there this year - another last minute winner at St. Andrew’s wouldn’t go amiss either, would it?

Opposing player I’d love

Sam Cosgrove. I hate him so much but I’d love it if he played for us. He doesn’t fit into our system one little bit, but he’s the closest thing to Kevin Davies I’ve seen in this league and for that, he gets the nod.

Key player

The obvious choice would be Josh Sheehan but I actually think Chris Forino could be “him”. I still haven’t forgiven Rico Santos for what happened on May 18th (come to think of it, I haven’t forgiven any of them yet) but I also have a strong suspicion he’s got a serious, out-for-the-season-style injury lurking beneath the surface. Enter Dat Guy Forino who’ll step up and do bits at the back with a capital “B” from October onwards. You heard it here first.

Predict the first 6 games

Leyton Orient (A): 2-1 win

Wrexham (H): 3-0 win

Charlton (A): 1-1 draw

Exeter (H): 3-1 win

Cambridge (A): 0-0 draw

Huddersfield (H): 2-0 loss

Final position

We haven’t seen a League One as competitive as this is shaping up to be for some time, which is both terrifying and exciting in equal measure.

I’m going 2nd. Just. We’ll scrape it with a game or two to go.

I can’t do Wembley like that again. I’ll be dead by the time P!NK gets her drum kit out on the pitch next summer. That’s NOT a euphemism.

Any other business prediction?

Evatt to be sacked in October if we’re mid table.

Sharon to show her bare arse on the town hall steps when Gethin Jones is League One top scorer by Christmas.

Eoin Toal to become club captain after Rico gets injured in late September.

Josh Sheehan gets a big money January move to his rightful place alongside Conor Gallagher at Atletico Madrid.

Will Forrester found alive and well in the Arctic Circle after claims he had been permanently exiled by Evatt.